Nanny&Me

Our soon-to-be nanny Genette left HongKong this morning (EST) and is on her way to Canada! Join me on Nanny&Me's Facebook page as I post live updates leading up to her arrival.

I just discovered Flight Aware, a neat airplane tracker app that has allowed me to see her plane on a map. How did I not know this existed before?

We couldn't be more excited to welcome her into our home! We've got our bells and whistles and are counting down the hours!

T-Minus 12 hours until her arrival and she's currently making her way across the ocean...

I am sitting on my couch buzzing with emotion as ideas flood my mind about what the early days with our new nanny (Genette) will look like. The anticipation is huge! She will be moving her whole life, arriving in a new country, acclimating to a new culture, and way of life. We will be welcoming her into our home, and adjusting to life with a new person in our family unit. It is easy at a time like this to feel overwhelmed; there is so much to do, so much to plan for, and above everything, I hope that she is a wonderful fit with our family and will be happy with us for many years to come.

We thought long and hard about what we wanted the early days following her arrival to look like. How much time would she need to rest after the flight? How many activities should we plan? How do we encourage family bonding and closeness between her and our son? What sort of orientation should we do?

Arrival

We are T-minus 20 days until Genette's arrival in Canada! We so wanted to have her fly in during the day so that we (my husband, son, and I) could all greet her at the airport with a sign, but unfortunately there are not many flight options. We wanted to fly her with a familiar airline (Air Canada) because I had heard horror stories of people being turned away when they didn't have physical proof of payment (the actual transacted credit card etc) so I called Air Canada ahead of time and ensured that this wouldn't be an issue. I also knew that the safest bet was to have her do a 1-stop flight with layover in Vancouver as there are a number of restrictions with regards to what countries she would be permitted to stop in. In the end, the only flight that made sense was one that arrives at 1am (the other option was a 6am arrival with a 7-hour layover in Vancouver and this flight only has a 1-hour layover).

We have hired Logan's babysitter to come over the night that Genette arrives. We have prepared her that we may not be home until 3 or 4am depending on customs etc, but she was more than happy to oblige which is very sweet. We are so excited to be able to go and greet Genette with bells and whistles. We also feel that it will be good for Logan to meet her for the first time in his home where he is most comfortable.

Rest and Recuperation

Genette will arrive at 1am Wednesday (well technically Thursday but you get it), and we will give her  Thursday and Friday to just sleep, rest, relax, and be. I will work from home these two days and our babysitter (who is filling in, in the interim) will continue to watch Logan.

Weekend Fun and Family Activities

It is very important to our family that we take the time to get to know Genette and to demonstrate to her that we value her arrival and her place in our family. We will commence family fun on Saturday (separate post with itinerary to come), not that every day isn't family fun day in our lives ;-) and will continue this through until Tuesday. We will host my family here on Sunday evening for family dinner (which we do every week at my parent's house) so that everyone can meet Genette and get to know her. We haven't decided on our family fun activities yet but are considering: showing her around the city (cool cafes, neat neighbourhoods and the like), a nice meal or two out, Centre Island, and maybe a movie marathon (for some down time).

I have had some families ask me about the weekend, "but isn't that her time off?" people have asked. Certainly moving forward Genette will have weekends off, but in the early days of arrival, an "on/off" culture is not what we want to instil. While I definitely value the boundary between work and life for Genette (as I have worked as a live-in caregiver in the past too), I also think that in the beginning, there should be a commitment from us and from her to prioritize getting to know one another. Her whole first week with us will be paid and she won't be working because we'll be too busy having family fun! so I figure making the assumption (which I have also communicated) that she'll want to spend the weekend with us upon her arrival isn't far fetched, but I'd love to hear from you if you have a different take on things. :-)

Orientation

Fortunately when it comes to orientation, I have a lot of flexibility in my job. In her first two weeks of caring for our son, I will work mostly from home so that she can shadow me on and off, and I can be around to answer questions etc. I feel that it will allow for a very natural transition with regards to how much she takes on.

So far we've covered 1) arrival - Wednesday night, 2) rest/recoup - Thursday/Friday, 3) Family Fun - Saturday-Tuesday, and that brings us to Wednesday which is when Genette will begin caring for Logan. I will work from home on Wednesday and she will shadow me (I will work off hours when Logan is napping and after he goes down) to maximize the time that I spend with him and Genette. This work-from-home/shadowing will continue through to Friday. I will have a few meetings that I will attend out of the home which will give Genette the opportunity to be around Logan on her own and begin to develop her own rhythm. For the next week or two, I will continue to weight more work-from-home time than office time in order to be around for support as Genette gets comfortable.

When shadowing begins, I will also have some formalized orientation practices in place (post to come), and will be using our orientation binder. I will implement a two-week orientation phase that will begin and end with a review of the orientation binder. I call this 'wrap-around' training because it starts with information review (the binder), and ends in the same place after providing the context (I will delve deeper into this in the post that is to come).


We are so excited to embark on this next chapter of our lives. I hope all of the planning and preparations ensure a smooth transition!

The day we've all been waiting for on the edge of our seats...our nanny (Genette) was approved for work in Canada!! She just received the email from the visa office!

Well a few days ago we got some startling news. When our future nanny applied for her work permit she did so alongside a group of co-applicants all under the guidance of a Hong Kong based consultant.  We received word that one of the women in this group was denied her permit approval. I don't know many of the details, nor is it any of my business, but suffice to say that I am more than a little nervous now. I didn't really know this could happen after receiving a positive LMO (aside from the obvious parameters like police checks etc)!

The first thing that crossed my mind was sadness for  both the family awaiting their new nanny, and the nanny who has been denied her opportunity to come to Canada. My heart sank thinking about the family and their nanny. We are so very excited to welcome our future nanny into our home, and not just because we look forward to having the support with Logan and around the house, but because we have gotten to know her and are genuinely excited for her to join our household. I can't imagine what the family is going through both with regards to now arranging childcare when they had probably invested the last year into this process, and also the emotional stress of having their plan completely derailed. It would be quite devastating to find out that the person with whom you wanted to entrust your child's care had been denied the opportunity to do so. I should say that I understand why we have parameters around applications, and I don't know all of the details, it just seems like an unfortunate happenstance that one can have their LMIA approved and then have the permit denied.

Before selecting our future nanny, we were careful to make sure that she qualified for entrance to Canada (ie. had adequate training and work experience), and we also double checked that we met all of the requirements (household income etc). Even though she and we met all of the requirements, I can't help but panic when I hear about someone being turned down. Our future nanny and her co-applicants all used the same consultant so that also worries me. I would have assumed that using a Hong Kong based consultant would ensure their application acceptance since one would think that she would have warned them ahead of time if they didn't meet all of the requirements, or one would hope that she would.

Amidst all of this news, I did discover that while I submitted my 2012 and 2013 notice of assessments with her permit application, I submitted my husband's 2011 and 2013 (gasp!). Now theoretically this shouldn't matter since my income meets the requirements, but I am very worried nonetheless. In order to subside my anxiety, I amended our application documents by submitting my husband's 2012 notice of assessment via an online submission tool, as well as through an email provided by our future nanny.

I am asking all of you, my readers, to send us some super positive vibes! On the bright side, the fact that one of the applications was already processed from the bunch is great news as maybe we will get to welcome our nanny into our home sooner than we think, but on the down side, I am feeling like we're hanging in the balance. It's out of our hands now, so think good thoughts everyone!

Crossing my (sadly) un-manicured fingers and my toes...

Every decision you make in life has its upside and downside. One of the downsides (and there aren't many in my opinion) to sponsorship seems to be the volatility of the waiting period. The visa processing times in Hong Kong vary greatly depending on which case manager you have processing your application. This means that for some families the wait time for their nanny's visa to be processed might be 2 months, and for others, it might be 8 months. For us, the upsides to hiring a nanny and sponsoring from overseas far outweighed this downside, but alas we are now in the thick of interim planning. Interim planning is needed to fill "the gap months"...those that exist in the time between when you go back to work and when your nanny arrives.

We are anticipating that the nanny could arrive as late as June. I go back to work in March. Our dream would be to have her arrive in February, but realistically we are thinking that May is the most likely, with April being optimistic and June being realistic. Of course interim planning doesn't come easy because finding flexible short-term care is not an easy feat. My husband's schedule is so variable (one of the reasons for wanting a nanny in the first place) that it makes other forms of childcare difficult. Originally we had thought that my mother and mother-in-law could manage childcare until the nanny's arrival, but that was when we thought it might be a month or so. Now that we know it could be up to three months, we felt we needed something that wouldn't have our mothers wanting to chop our heads off by the end of it. I originally explored part-time nannies. Of course this would be difficult; if we hire someone for set days then we may be paying for days that we don't actually need and short childcare days where we do need it, but in order to find someone as flexible as we'd like, we'd need to pay an arm and a leg.

If you've been following along with my blog, then you've probably figured out by now that I believe in the law of attraction. Generally speaking I think the possibilities in life are quite limitless if you believe them to be. If you assume something is possible, it probably is. If you put good thoughts and kindness out to the world, it will probably be returned. On the flip side, if you assume bad things will happen, they probably will, and the worst one...if you strive for mediocrity (in your personal and professional life) then that is exactly what you will get. So all that said, my husband and I were quite confident that something would just naturally work out. Well wouldn't you know that the universe must have smiled at me because I have a wonderful lead for a perfect situation.


The other day I was selling an item on my local buy and sell. The woman who came to pick up the lovely lamps I was selling was so warm and friendly. So much so that my husband even chimed in after she left saying how nice she seemed. Well wouldn't you know it that she had mentioned amidst our pick-up planning that she runs a home daycare. I know what you're thinking, "yeah so she runs a home daycare, but she probably only offers full-time spaces and has a full house"...well if you can believe it, as we got to chatting, she is nearing retirement and winding down her home daycare, as a result she's not actively seeking kids, but would be happy to offer some part-time completely flexible care for our son! She's been running her home daycare for 30 years and has five children of her own. Logan could be dropped off or not dropped off any day of the week, she lives literally half a city block from us, she offers lots of outdoor and play time for the kids, and it would practically be 1:1 care since she's winding down and only has one other toddler there right now. I couldn't be happier. We haven't smoothed out the details yet so it's not a sure thing, but I'm hoping that if I put good thoughts out there, it'll work out in our favour. ;-) This way, we can still rely on our mothers for some care (not only because it's a great cost saver, but also because it's wonderful watching their bonds grow with Logan), and we can use the home daycare option 2-3 days each week.

This looks like it could be a win-win and it will certainly put our mind at ease as we await our nanny's arrival.

If you're currently in the nanny recruitment or planning stages, don't forget to think about interim planning. Keep in mind that if you start the whole process earlier (to avoid having an interim gap) then you may end up with a nanny who has her work permit approved and is ready to hop on a plane while you're still on maternity leave. If you can afford this, then it certainly is a great option to give them time to adapt to your family and household before going back to work. Other interim planning options might include: family support, part-time live-out nanny, a temporary nanny share, or short-term home-care.


Have a question about interim planning?...Leave a comment below and I'd be happy to help. :-)

After weeks of waiting for our nanny to receive her NBI (National Bureau Investigation), it's finally come, and she has submitted her work permit application! We are so grateful that she was so organized and had all of the documents ready to go (except the ones like the NBI that she needed our positive LMO in order to get) and kept us so well updated!

She submitted the application today and they told her 4-5 months for processing so everyone cross your fingers that they process it as quickly as possible! Our dream timeframe would be mid-February for her arrival, but even mid-April would be great!

From time to time it's suggested to me that readers might like to know a bit more about the person behind my blog. While I'm not sure I'm a particularly fascinating person, I have detailed a bit about me and my life below.

Some basics about me and my family

I'm MARRIED to the LOVE my LIFE, Michael or "Mikey" as I call him.

September 2010. *Kim Lovell Photography

We have a DOG, named ORLY. She's a very sweet cream-colorer golden retriever.

*Kim Lovell Photography

Before Orly, I had a FUR BABY named KAESEY Parker who was the light of my life. He passed away last spring.

*Kim Lovell Photography

Mike and I have a SON, Logan. We love him to bits and pieces.

We LIVE in the BEACHES in Toronto. Well sort of...I grew up just down the road from where we live now (which is just outside of the area, but still walking distance to everything). We love our neighbourhood; the community, the shops and restaurants, the dogs, the pedestrian lifestyle, the boardwalk, and the beach.


Digging Deeper

I LOVE animals. My husband calls me a "friend to all creatures". I'm vegan (...mostly. I have been vegetarian for twenty years, vegan for the past 13 of those, but more recently I have become a bit more laid back about it).

I have a horrible FEAR of the dark and am horrified that I might pass it along to little Logan. I've been working to resolve it, but phobias are hard!

I am a POSITIVE person. Generally speaking, I have an enthusiastic (thanks to Youth Leadership Camps Canada) approach to life; I'm excitable, chatty, outgoing, and friendly.

DIY is one of my favourite hobbies. From building decks to tiling kitchen back splashes, home improvement projects make my heart smile. I've recently been getting into crafting projects, but my passion lies with the real physical labor...laying a new flagstone pathway, building a shed, installing a new kitchen.

Favourite things about my typical week

SUNDAY dinners with my FAMILY. My family (with the exception of my brother and his wife who live in Scotland) all live in the same neighbourhood (pretty lucky I'd say!) and we get together at my parents' house (where we grew up) every Sunday for dinner. We eat, we visit, we laugh at the babies. It's a wonderful home cooked meal and a great start to our week.

Just kidding (this is a hint about my favourite show)...but capturing a photo at our Sunday dinners would be chaos!

My FAVORITE mommy baby PROGRAM, MommyRok at Boulderz Climbing Centre!


Other programs and activities that I love/recommend are:

Cirque-ability's BabyCirque, MommyCirque, and MommyAerial
Toronto Yoga Mama's Yoga Babies
Swimming at Regent Park Aquatic Centre
Toronto Public Library's Baby Time

WALKING. I probably walk about 25-30 kilometres each week. My husband and I find walking is our favourite quality time. We enjoy changing it up; we find there's always something new to see if you look.


I enjoy giving back

I DONATE monthly. We focus our efforts on L'Arche Toronto and UNITY Charity.

I VOLUNTEER. I sit on the board of Extend-A-Family (an organization that fosters community for youth with disabilities) and I deliver our local Beach Metro paper.


The more professional stuff

I LOVE school. I have a Diploma in Outdoor Recreation Management from Capilano University, a BA in Disability Studies with a Minor in Organizational Leadership from Ryerson University...and I have a few more plans up my sleeve (maybe an MPA or MBA with non-profit specialization, or maybe a Masters in Critical Disability Studies).

I am a committed NON-PROFIT professional and have been for over a decade. My specialties include: organizational development, project management, and business/fund development.

I am PASSIONATE about WRITING. I have always been an avid writer, but I only began to get more serious about my writing as I was working through my degree at Ryerson University. I plan on doing a lot more writing, but so far I've had articles published in:

Oh Baby! Magazine
Pink and Blue Magazine (starting as a regular writer soon!)
Vision, Passion, Action - School of Disability Studies, Ryerson University
The Elm Life Blog
Nanny&Me

Fun facts

I do ALL of my GROCERIES on FOOT.

I can HIT an 80MPH FASTBALL.

Around the house, I go by "MONKEY".

Until I was about 13 years old, I MISSPELLED by middle NAME ("Alize" instead of "Elyse").

Me with my nanny (and Godmother), Maryann

Maryann in 1987

You'll never guess what we received in the mail?! After hearing from so many families that the LMIA (Labor Market Impact Assessment) can take up to 10-12 weeks or more, I was shocked when we received verbal approval earlier this week (at the two week post-submission mark), but imagine my surprise...my utter disbelief when the official positive LMO (Labor Market Opinion) showed up in the mail today!! (...okay yesterday, but it took me 24 hours to remember to write this post). They had said on Tuesday that I would receive it by late next week, and by golly it came at lightning speed!!



Here's our timeline so far:

LMIA Application Submission: Monday October 6th
LMIA fee shows up on my MasterCard: Monday Oct 20th
Verbal confirmation of positive LMO attempt (we played phone tag for a day): Monday Oct 20th
Verbal confirmation of positive LMO: Tuesday Oct 21st
Positive LMO official letter: Friday Oct 24th

This means that the total turnaround time was two and a half weeks!...18 days to be exact!

My Top Five Things to Remember When Filing the LMIA:

1. Be Detail Oriented. Cross your t's and dot your i's, don't leave any box unfilled. If something doesn't apply to your situation, then write "n/a", but don't leave empty boxes.
2. Be Thorough. Provide as much detail as possible. Not only will it provide them with adequate information so that they don't have to follow up with you, but it will put your mind at ease.
3. Be Honest. Don't try to write what you think the ESDC (Employment and Social Development Canada) office wants to hear...write your story and your truth. Life always works out better when you're honest.
4. Use the Right Template. Don't try to create your own employee contract; use the template provided by Service Canada as this ensures faster turnaround time.
5. Be Kind. It's always best to be kind, so chipper up when you get that call from the ESDC office and make friends with the individual managing your file...not because it will get you approved faster (although it might), but rather because it's the right thing to do. :-)

I am über impressed. Shouts out to Service Canada for doing a rocking good job on this one.

I have been providing some over-the-phone support by request to families who have questions regarding the process of hiring a nanny. Recently I had a conversation with a lovely woman who had found a wonderful live-out nanny for her kids. Her main concern was that after reading my blog (specifically a post on the 110 applicants that I screened), she wasn't sure she had done due diligence as she had received this candidates name (and one other one) by referral, had interviewed them both and had chosen this candidate. She hadn't conducted reference checks as of yet, but had been extremely impressed with how this individual conducted themselves and how they treated her children.

Well it's a good question I think, "can it really be THIS easy"? Here is my answer: YES! I have come across this question many times in life. Here are a couple of short stories to this effect:

My wedding dress:
When I got engaged, I saw my dream dress in a magazine (it was a Casa Blanca gown...Fall 2009, gown #1971 to be exact). When I laid eyes on that dress, I knew it was MY dress. Everything about it screamed me. My family was quite persistent that I should try on a few others (at least for the fun of it), so off we went. I tried on dresses at a few different stores. Then I heard about a Casa Blanca Bridal trunk show at a store called Jealous Bridesmaids in Toronto and I just knew that it was the universe smiling at me. When I got to the store, I told them that I was in search of dress #1971 and when the woman pulled it off the rack, my heart sang, but could it be THAT easy? I figured not, perhaps I'd try it on and it wouldn't be the right cut for me (even though I was pretty sure that it was). As I slipped into this dress, everything felt perfect, I knew that it was THE dress. I kept smiling saying "can you believe that it's the very first dress I laid my eyes on?!...and in a magazine no less!". It really was THAT easy. The first dress was the right dress.

Our current house:
We had been living in our first house for about three years (all the while knowing that it would be a "starter home") and we began to ponder whether or not we could afford to move. We were living in a semi-detached house that we adored, but it was on a busy street, and we were hoping to make our way onto a quiet residential street. It was a Friday night when we begged the question "I wonder if we could afford to move soon?", assuming that the answer would in fact be that we couldn't for at least another 3-5 years. Well I ran the numbers and Saturday morning we called my mother to notify her (she's our real estate buddy) that we would be going "hunting" (and not the kind that involves animals because I'm a vegan who LOVES animals). A few days past and on Wednesday I had hurt my back and was home from work. My mom said that it would be a good idea to get moving a bit, so we went for a little drive. We drove down a street that we had never seen before and saw an "Open House" sign on the lawn. The open house was intended for realtors, but we waltzed right in. We looked, we liked, and that was that. I called my husband to come see the place, he went after work, we both smiled and nodded, got the paper work drawn up and bought the house that night. But can it be THAT easy to find a house?...Of course it can! Why not?

When we assume that everything in life will be gruelling and terrible, there's a possibility that it will. I am a firm believer in optimism. This doesn't mean that bad things don't happen in my life; they certainly do, but for the most part, I see things in a positive light, things tend to work out for me, and I see the bad times through with the good.


When it comes to nanny applicants, how do you know what to expect? Well I can tell you for starters that the only reason we had over 100 applicants is because we were willing to sponsor from overseas. Canada is a wonderful country that we are lucky to live in, and lots and lots of people from other countries want to come here. Now ask me how many of those applications were from applicants already in Canada (citizens, permanent residents, or nannies with an open work permit), and the answer would be less than a handful, and of those, how many were viable applicants?...none (they either didn't respond to my email follow up, or had no experience). This is not to scare you if you are hiring in Canada though. I think because we were willing to hire from overseas, our post went quite viral to many candidates hoping to come from other countries. There certainly is hope for finding qualified applicants from the pool of nannies with open work permits, or those who are permanent residents, however these candidates are often more interested in live-out positions. If you are looking for a live-in nanny in Canada, often times your best bet is to try and find a family from whom you can take over the sponsorship (lots of families love their nannies, but get pregnant again, or have other life situations change and can no longer employ them).

From my experience talking with other moms who have hired nannies, and from forum research, here is what I would provide as a guideline. If you are interested in hiring a live-in nanny and are willing to sponsor from overseas, you can expect to receive 100-200+ applications and maybe find 20-30 viable applicants within the pool (viable meaning that they have ample experience, are qualified, and have references). If you are looking for a live-in nanny who is already in Canada, you can expect 2-3 viable applications. If you are seeking a live-out nanny (in Canada), you can expect 10-15 viable applications.

So if you are like the mom whom I spoke with, and you receive two applicants, and one seems great, go with your gut! Life really can be that easy! Sometimes the greatest gifts in life are right there in front of you, so certainly do your due diligence with interviewing them, checking their references, and conducting a police check (Vulnerable Sector Check), but if everything checks out, and you get a great feeling, then the lesson here, is go for it and don't worry if you only picked from a pool of two because it only takes one!

I just had the most exciting game of phone tag today with the FWP (Foreign Worker Program) office!! Yesterday I received a confirmation of fee processing for the LMIA application, a mere two weeks after submitting it! I also received a call and voicemail from a very friendly woman named Sonya from the FWP office. Well today we proceeded to play an enthralling game of phone tag and I reached her this morning. She asked a few questions about my application (I'm speculating that this is to confirm that I had in fact been at the helm of the application, and not used a third-party without disclosing it), and then she gave me the green light! We received the verbal approval, and she said that we'll receive the approval letter in the mail next week!

Tomorrow I will express post the signed contract to our future nanny, and the remaining documents that she needs (the approval letter, and our financial statements) will be emailed to her (Sonya said that emailed copies are fine) next week when the approval letter gets here!

I had heard that the LMIA application can take anywhere from 8-10 weeks, but had heard horror stories of it taking up to 12 weeks. I am pleased to say that assuming the letter does arrive next week, it will have been three weeks start to finish for the LMIA application and Service Canada deserves a big high five for that one!


Next up: our nanny will apply for her work permit once she receives the documents from us. How exciting!

This week's Story Corner is a bit different. You see October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month (and October 15th was Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day), and as such, this week I will be sharing with you an article that I wrote about breaking the silence and stopping the stigma surrounding pregnancy loss, here is my story: