EVERYTHING You NEED to KNOW About NANNY SHARING

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22 Comments
I have received several requests from readers to write on the topic of nanny sharing. After a LOT of research, I have put a post together that I hope will answer all of your nanny sharing questions. First off, I’d like to take the opportunity to say a HUGE thank you to all of the families who participated in my research. I spoke with and/or surveyed over 20 families and all of them were so open, honest, and helpful.
The types of nanny sharing arrangements really run the gamut and the possibilities are endless. Families are all so unique and there are so many ways that a nanny share can function. In this post, I’ll share with you what some of the typical set ups are, as well as things to consider going into a nanny share, and tips for a successful experience.

Nanny sharing is typically done with live-out nannies, however it can be done with a live-in nanny so long as the nanny is not a foreign worker being sponsored under the Live-in Caregiver Program. The Live-in Caregiver Program does not permit nannies to work for more than one family, and sharing a sponsored nanny with another family could jeopardize your standing with the federal government (making it difficult to hire a future nanny, and causing your current nanny to lose their work permit). 

The average nanny share arrangement involves a nanny being shared by two families looking after 2-4 children for 40-50 hours/week and situations vary with regards to the tasks that the nanny undertakes (child minding, cooking, cleaning). 

There are a few common physical set-ups:

  1. Split home. This option involves having the children rotate between both families' homes. Rotations are typically done on an hourly (morning in one home, afternoon in the other), daily (3 days/week in one home, 2 days/week in the other, then switch) or weekly (rotating homes bi-weekly) basis.
  2. Single host family. This option involves having one family host the children and nanny full-time, and the other family drops off/picks up their children each day (one family even had the nanny do the pick-up/drop-off on their way to work).
  3. Hours share. This option does not involve actually sharing the nanny at the same time, rather dividing up the hours in the week (the nanny works for one family 20 hours, and the other family 20 hours, or another ratio that works for both parties).
Other set-up factors:

Food cost sharing

  1. Go it alone. Each family provides food for their child (this would involve packing lunches, or sending ingredients for cooking).
  2. When in Rome. Each family provides the food for everyone the children and nanny when they are in their home. (This certainly seems to the most hassle free option to me, but food would need to be discussed and agreed upon in advance). This option would be suitable for families rotating hosting. 
  3. That costs extra. The host family provides food for everyone, and the secondary family pays a monthly fee for food. 
Diaper cost sharing. Same options as food cost sharing.

There are numerous benefits to sharing a nanny, here are a few of them:

The two most commonly indicated benefits of a nanny share are: COST SAVINGS and having a PLAYMATE for your child.

Other benefits include:
  • Having multiple kids to entertain one another allows the nanny to do more cooking/cleaning.
  • The development of social skills (sharing, communication). 
  • Home-based care including the comfort of one's home, in addition to local outings (parks, playgrounds, centres, program), and playing/napping at home. 
  • Teaching flexibility. Children learn to adapt to a new environment, including learning to sleep somewhere new which one family mentioned was great practice for travelling. 
  • No worry of getting kids out the door in the morning (at least some of the time if rotating houses). 
  • Help with housekeeping and cooking. 
  • Avoiding the frequent daycare illnesses.

 There are several cost sharing arrangements:

While a lot of families do split the cost 50/50, there are other ways to divide up the costs depending on several factors including: number of kids (does one family have more kids than the other?), hours (does one family use more childcare hours than the other?), physical arrangement (which family hosts?). 

When a single family hosts the nanny and kids, it can mean that the host family should pay more or less depending on a few things. If the host family also has the nanny do cleaning and cooking for the family, then they will often pay more, but if they don't realize these benefits, then they will often pay less since they are managing the business side (acting as legal employer, CRA remittance, paying the nanny, liability, wear and tear on the house etc.) 

It certainly becomes apparent speaking with so many families that there are many ways to manage a nanny share, and that it is possible to find a situation that meets the unique needs of each family (ie. One family needing full-time care, while another only needs before/after school care). 

Ways to manage payment:

  1. Sole employer. One family acts as the "sole employer". This means that they file for a business number, manage paying the nanny and CRA remittance, obtain WSIB, receive payment from secondary family, and file the childcare expenses on their personal income tax (some families provide the secondary family with a receipt so that they may also file and some claim the entire childcare tax credit themselves).
  2. Joint employer. Each family obtains a business number and pays the nanny independently. They decide upon the cost sharing, and then pay the salary and remit CRA deductions independently (as two separate employers) and both claim the expense on their personal income taxes.
How much does a nanny share cost?

While hourly wages vary from $11-$25/hour gross (before deductions) the going rate seems to be $17.50/hour gross. The average family pays between $1,000-2,000/month which is a significant cost savings over the total cost of a nanny (see the cost of a live-out nanny HERE). PLEASE NOTE: I will continue to update the average amount, recalculating it as more readers write in to provide the most accurate and current rate. 

Getting Started

Families that I spoke with used the following avenues to find their sharing family and/or nanny:


Recruitment options:

  1. Hire first. Nearly all of the families that I spoke with hired a nanny first and then found a family to share the nanny.
  2. Join in. The second most common practice was to find a family who has already hired a nanny, and join in on their arrangement.
  3. Hire together. Although less common, some families chose to find one another first, and then partner up and hire the nanny together (you could certainly learn a lot more about one another's families by interviewing together).  When families go this route, one family usually offers to manage the recruitment process. 
Contracts:

Although most families I spoke with did not have formal contracts or agreements drawn up, I would certainly recommend it. Some families had verbal agreements and saved emails in case of disagreements, some families drew up an employee contract with the nanny (but not the other family), and others drew up an employee contract (signed by both families), as well as a contract between families. 

Common nanny-sharing challenges:

 The three most common challenges are:

  1. Food (agreeing on what the kids eat, organizing meals, deciding on arrangement),
  2. Vacation (families' vacation time and preferences often don't match up which makes it tricky to also provide the nanny with their vacation), and
  3. Parenting styles (agreeing on disciplinary approach, as well as childrens' activities, and guidelines for nanny...can he/she take them on public transportation?, for example). 
Other common challenges include:

  • Illness. Coordinating what happens when the nanny, or children get sick.  
  • Expectations. Families have different expectations of the nanny's duties and responsibilities, and different management styles.
  • Sharing. Managing the initial transition, as well as ongoing management of behaviours around having the children share their toys. 
  • Relationship management. Dealing with conflicts that arise, communicating openly, and fostering a positive relationship with the other family.  
  • Privacy. Sharing space can be difficult, especially if you are in a situation where one family picks up their children later than your return from work time (this can mean having someone else's kids, and your nanny in your space when you arrive home). 
  • Self-imposed mom pressure. Having someone else's kids come into your home on a regular basis can create a sense of pressure to keep your home constantly tidy and organized.  

Potential conflicts scenarios:

  • Frequent tardiness. Families who show up late to pick up their child day after day. 
  • Sick kids. Sharing a nanny with a family who has a child that frequently gets sick. 
  • Food. One child is a picky eater and the families disagree on how to appropriately manage this (do kids eat separate meals or do families/nanny meal plan and stick to it?). OR families share food responsibilities (each cover food when the kids and nanny are at their house), but one family provides well-rounded balanced meals, and the other family provides inadequate food (portions, quality). 
  • Kids’ schedule and activities. Disagreeing on regular activities for the kids and degree of scheduling (is the day very structured, or more laid back?) and limits on what the nanny can do with the children (does she take them swimming? on public transportation?) 
  • Parenting styles. Managing differences in expectations on children and discipline, having a sharing family's child draw on your walls, break items in the house etc. 
  • Managing relationship with nanny. Who manages the relationship with the nanny? Does each family communicate with them separately, or does one family manage them as an employee?
  • Discoveries. You find out from the nanny (or your kids) that there is a situation at the sharing family's house that you should know about, but didn't (such as: extra kids being dropped off and cared for, different meals being served than what was discussed etc.) 
  • Temperament differences. You have a very easy going baby, but learn that your sharing family's baby cries all of the time, resists naps, and frequently fusses. The other family's baby is stressing out the nanny, and you feel that it is having a detrimental effect on the care your baby is receiving. 

PLEASE NOTE: Not once did the kids' relationship with one another come up as an issue. All families found that their kids loved having a playmate and got along great, and many (whom shared a nanny in the past) found that their kids are still great friends to this day.

Tips from nanny-sharing families: 

  • Make a playroom. If you have the space and are able to make a playroom that is baby/child proof with a safety gate, anchored furniture, a library etc. you will be able to rest assured that your sharing family's kids are safe in your home. You will also be at ease knowing that you won't come home to find your favourite vase broken since the kids don't have free range of your house.
  • Discuss EVERYTHING! Have the difficult conversations upfront. Talk about everything from how you will proceed if one family wants out of the arrangement to how you will approach conflicts such as an issue that arises with the nanny.
  • Establish policies. Recommended policies include: lateness (does nanny stay and the late family pays over time? Does host family look after child? Is there a number of late occurrences that are appropriate), sickness (does a sick child stay with parents or go to nanny share? What constitutes "sick"...temperature, vomitting, diarrhea etc? How long does the sick child need to wait before after recovering before returning to nanny share?), conflict resolution (a guideline for how you manage conflicts or disagreements), food (a guideline for what each family must provide, meal planning etc). 
  • Meet meet meet. Meet several times before confirming your arrangement. Be upfront, be honest, and be clear. Don't try to make a great impression at the expense of being open about your needs, and wants in the arrangement. It's best to find a family who is truly a good fit. 
  • Consider a trial period. And plan to sit down and meet with your sharing family at the end of it to discuss how things are going; what is working, what could be improved. 
  • Choose wisely. Picking the right family was unanimously cited as a defining factor in the relationship and success of nanny sharing arrangements. Ensure that the sharing family is a good fit and shares your desire to communicate openly. 
  • CPR/First Aid. Split the cost with your sharing family and have your nanny brush up on their infant/child first aid and CPR.

I asked families if they would recommend nanny sharing, here is what they said: 

Families who indicated "yes", also indicated that their answer was correlated to finding a like-minded family who maintains open lines of communication, and some said with kids around the same age.


"Absolutely!"

 "I would recommend it as long as both parties are on equal footing and agree to the terms up front".

"I would recommend it for families who really do see eye to eye and are willing to take it year by year...it's been the BEST thing we could have done". 

I also solicited nanny feedback from those experienced with nanny sharing, one nanny shared her insight, "I would work for another nanny share, but one needs to compensate well. Consider vacationing at the same time so the nanny can have a vacation as well. If your nanny is happy, she will stay around for a very long time and become part of the family".



I hope I've answered all of your nanny sharing questions and given you the information needed to make a decision about whether nanny sharing is right for you, and to start your nanny sharing journey!

Have a question that wasn't answered??...Post a comment below, I'll research it, and reply.  




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22 comments:

  1. UnknownAugust 15, 2015 at 2:39 PM

    My question is if I get paid by both families separately do they both have to pay me min. wage?
    Thank you in advance.

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    Replies
    1. Jenn ElyseAugust 28, 2015 at 7:06 AM

      Hi Brittany,

      Thanks for your comment. This area of expertise isn't really in my wheelhouse, but it would depend on how you're employed by the families. See the following three scenarios:

      1) If you are working under the live-in caregiver program contracted by a joint employer (ie. two families who have co-applied for an LMIA to hire you) then they do not need to both pay you minimum wage.

      2) If you are working as a live-out nanny under a PR status, open work permit (or as a Canadian) for two entirely separate families (ie. there is no joint employment and you don't watch both families' kids at the same time) then yes they both need to pay you minimum wage.

      3) If you are working for two families where you watch both of their children at the same time then they do not need to each pay you minimum wage (and in fact this would be uncommon) as they would pay a joint wage. The benefit (typically) to the caregiver is that two families (say one family with 1 child and the other with 2 children, so 3 children in total) may be willing to pay you $17-20/hr because for each family that's still a great deal, whereas one family hiring you to watch their 3 children may only offer $15/hr. If each family paid the going rate for a single family wage then there wouldn't be a benefit to them. Most families see it as a cost savings to them while offering a caregiver a higher wage, so it's a win-win.

      Always happy to answer any other questions that you have. :-)

      Delete
  2. JenSeptember 24, 2015 at 12:13 PM

    Hi,
    I'm currently working for a family with two boys. The older boy is attending school and I am only caring for one now in the mornings. We are activitiely looking for a share for just the morning. We have the weekly rate down, but Id like to know how the vacation would work. As of now, I get all paid holidays, two weeks vacation, sick days and any days the family takes off. Now, would the share family be responsible for paying one of my weeks vacation? How about days where the family(with the boys) decides to take a random day off(which they do often) and spend the day with the kids and I'm not needed, what happens to the other child and would she still be responsible for paying me?
    The share would take place in the boys' home and only be 3/4 days a week in the mornings only.
    Thank you,
    Jen

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    1. Jenn ElyseMarch 6, 2017 at 5:12 PM

      Hi Jen, great questions! Yes typically the other family would share the cost of your vacation pay/time off, however that is something that would be decided jointly by the employers. I would say it is fair that you maintain the same number of vacation days though. If one family decides to spend the day with the kids, I would expect that you would still be needed to care for the other child (in a different location) so you would no longer have that time off. I hope that answers your questions! Sorry my comment was so late, I just found a new spot in my blog editor with lots of questions that hadn't come through to me until now, but hopefully your question might be helpful for others too!

      Delete
  3. JenSeptember 24, 2015 at 12:25 PM

    Hi,
    For the past year, I've worked for a family with two boys. The eldest is attending school part time now and I am only caring for the little one in the morning. Their parents cannot afford to pay me and the school so we are looking for another child that I care for along with their youngest in the mornings only.
    As far as weekly salary is concerned, I'll receive an even amount from each and be paid by each family.
    My question is about vacation? I currently have paid holidays, sick days, two weeks, and any days that they take off. Now, would the other family be responsible for paying one of my weeks vacation? How about days when the family(with the boys) take off random days(which they do often) and Im not needed that day? Since the share will be taking place in their house, do I contact the other family and say I will not be caring for their child that day because the other family took off? Are they still responsible to pay me? Also, is there any else I should considered before agreeing to a share?

    I'm confused. Hope you can help.

    Thank you,
    Jen

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    Replies
    1. Jenn ElyseSeptember 26, 2016 at 9:18 PM

      Hi Jen,

      Thanks for your comment and I'm so sorry that I didn't get back to you when you posted. Your comment slipped through the cracks and I didn't see it until now. I'm sure you've sorted this out by now, but to answer your question, these are all factors that are agreed upon on a case-by-case basis. As such, it would be the employers' responsibility to negotiate how they cover your vacation pay etc. As long as you receive it, it's really not relevant who it comes from. In some situations the employers may agree that only one family pays the vacation time if, for example, that family perceived greater benefit (cost savings etc) to their family in agreeing to the nanny share.

      Really and truly, the employers need to be jointly managing your role, ie. it shouldn't ever be your responsibility to contact the second employer and let them know that you can't care for their child because the primary employer took days off; it should be the two employers who correspond together and then notify you of changes to your schedule. You need to ensure that both employers are on the same page, have pre-determined and written out a joint employer contract or agreement with one another, and understand that they have a responsibility to you to jointly manage you otherwise your role could quickly deteriorate to something quite stressful where you end up managing two families instead of one joint employer managing you.

      Delete
  4. j.June 13, 2016 at 4:39 PM

    This has been very helpful I have two follow-up questions on payment:

    1) If one child is out for any reason (vacation, sick, parent early pick-up, etc) - is there a different hourly rate for the single child since the scope is 1:1? For example, the parents of nanny share A + B pay $10 per hour per kid, if child A is not present for the day then the child B will be a higher amount?

    2) When both sets of parents are out on holiday - is the nanny typically paid its regular wage?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenn ElyseMarch 6, 2017 at 5:15 PM

      Glad this has been helpful to you!

      I would say to answer your first question that this is very individual. I think most families would decide that if one child is pulled out then they still receive the same wage (I would think this is fair, otherwise the nanny's wage goes up and down based on something out of their control - illness of children). Having said that, if someone were pursuing a nanny share for a different reason (my husband and I being a prime example because our lifestyle is very flexible) then we may be looking for a share where we don't pay for days that we don't use, but that the nanny would know this going into the arrangement.

      Delete
    2. Jenn ElyseMarch 6, 2017 at 5:16 PM

      And yes when both families are on holiday, the nanny would typically either take holiday at the same time (agreed upon in contracts ahead of time) or be paid a regular wage.

      Delete
  5. BethechangeSeptember 26, 2016 at 9:01 PM

    Thanks for all your comphrehensive information! Wow. You have done a lot of work here.

    Could you quote your resource regarding your response to minimum wage per family requirements?

    #3 on Aug 28th 2015....If you are working for two families where you watch both of their children at the same time then they do not need to each pay you minimum wage (and in fact this would be uncommon) as they would pay a joint wage. The benefit (typically) to the caregiver is that two families (say one family with 1 child and the other with 2 children, so 3 children in total) may be willing to pay you $17-20/hr because for each family that's still a great deal, whereas one family hiring you to watch their 3 children may only offer $15/hr. If each family paid the going rate for a single family wage then there wouldn't be a benefit to them. Most families see it as a cost savings to them while offering a caregiver a higher wage, so it's a win-win.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenn ElyseSeptember 26, 2016 at 9:13 PM

      Hi there, thanks for your comment. the source is via 1:1 interviews with the families who contributed to this article. The interviews were done via telephone and email.

      The underlying concept is of joint employership. When you register as joint employers you are only required to file one business number etc and are considered one business/employer. As such, you are only required to pay one minimum wage as you are not separate employer entities.

      Delete
  6. n.mccallumSeptember 30, 2016 at 9:57 AM

    Hi Jenn,

    We are setting up our third nanny share arrangement. It has worked so well for us, and you have definitely hit all of the points to think about! So well done, congratulations for compiling all of the details. I have a question for you about this one point below. My question is, do you know how the CRA would see that as income for the individuals vs the business transaction. How do you keep that separate on your personal taxes?

    "Sole employer. One family acts as the "sole employer". This means that they file for a business number, manage paying the nanny and CRA remittance, obtain WSIB, receive payment from secondary family, and file the childcare expenses on their personal income tax (some families provide the secondary family with a receipt so that they may also file and some claim the entire childcare tax credit themselves)."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenn ElyseMarch 6, 2017 at 5:18 PM

      Hi there, thanks for your kind words and my apologies for the delay in reply! (I just found a section in my blog editor with a ton of questions that never came through to me in my alerts). Even though you establish yourself as a business for CRA purposes (getting a business number, WSIB etc), you still claim the cost associated with the nanny on your personal taxes as childcare costs. I find it a tiny bit silly how it all works because when you call to obtain the business number etc it is classed differently and they immediately help walk you through the steps if you are a family employing a nanny because they understand that you're not 'really' a business. Hope that helps!

      Delete
  7. BethechangeOctober 7, 2016 at 10:59 AM

    Ok. We have done nanny shares over the years with several different families but haven't done this. But now that our city's min wage has gone up to $10.50/hr (and rising) we may need to do this so it doesn't look like we are paying her less than minimum wage. Do you mean you file a business # with the IRS or you have to form an LLC with each family you share with?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenn ElyseMarch 6, 2017 at 5:20 PM

      Hi there, thanks for your comment. The business number information is applicable to the Canadian system, and unfortunately I'm not familiar with this piece of the process in the U.S, but all the best and please feel free to share the info here in a comment once you get it for other blog readers based out of the U.S!

      Delete
  8. JulieFebruary 17, 2017 at 9:50 AM

    If I agree to do a nanny share for two families one family has a one-year-old baby and they use me six hours a day four days a week the other family has a newborn and uses me three days a week three hours a day. How would it be most beneficial for me to be paid since the times are different one family only use in a few hours it doesn't seem fair the normal 30% difference per family as that would be a decrease in pay for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenn ElyseMarch 6, 2017 at 5:23 PM

      Hi Julie, thanks for your comment. The wage piece really can be so individual, but I think most families doing nanny shares don't want to pay for time not used when it is this type of nanny share (hours split vs. home share). Because it sounds like some of the time overlaps with multiple kids and some with only 1, I would think it fair to determine a set hourly rate for you and then the families can decide how they divvy that up. So for example, your wage wouldn't vary day-to-day, perhaps you are paid $17/hour which accommodates some days of more challenging care and some with only one child, and then the families might decide to split that up between themselves with a 30/70 split. Does that make sense? I'm not sure if I clearly articulated that.

      Delete
  9. Santa Monica MamaMarch 13, 2017 at 3:22 PM

    Hi Jenn - I live in a rental apartment in Santa Monica, CA and have been doing a nanny share with a friend's son and mine for more than a year. Our landlord sent an email saying that we were running "a babysitting business" and asked us to stop. I've never heard of a nanny share qualifying as a business and can't find anyone else whose had this problem with a landlord in my research. Our lease does say we can't use the premise for "carrying on a business" but again, I can't believe a casual nanny share with two kids and one nanny qualifies as that! Any ideas or insights would be greatly appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Santa Monica MamaMarch 13, 2017 at 3:34 PM

    Hi Jenn - I have been doing a nanny share with a friend's son and mine for more than a year. We host at my rented home in Santa Monica, CA. Recently my landlord came by without my knowledge and started asking my nanny questions about our arrangement. He then sent me an email saying that we were running a "babysitting business" and asked us to stop. I've never heard of a nanny share with 2 kids/1 nanny qualifying as a business. Have you ever heard of a situation like this before? Thanks for any insight you can provide!

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousApril 12, 2017 at 7:09 AM

    Hi -

    I am not sure if this post is too old to get a response. We are about to start a nanny share and the other family wants us to put an agreement in place stating that neither family will sue the other family in the event of an issue.

    The language that the family is using is very broad and we don't feel comfortable signing it. Have you seen this before and is there a targeted template we should use?

    Thanks!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenn ElyseApril 12, 2017 at 11:35 AM

      Thanks for your question Casey. I have certainly never ever heard of this! I can only speak for me, but I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable signing it, and might also take it as a red flag. The family must have some pretty significant trust issues. The nanny share relationship is one of fine balance and should really be done with a family where there is mutual understanding and trust or it can quickly go awry. I hope for your sake that they're just a bit paranoid and it's not a sign of anything negative to come, but I wouldn't sign a document like that. It is very typical (and advisable) to have a joint agreement that you both sign that covers everything from how sick days work to payment, but getting into law suit territory seems very strange to me. Can you talk to the family about what is underlying that? I can understand that they may just be really nervous about taking on the liability for another child, but on the flip side, if something ever did happen that was genuinely rooted in negligence you would want to take legal action. Best of luck, it does sound like a tricky situation!

      Delete
  12. AnonymousApril 12, 2017 at 7:18 AM

    Hi -

    We are about to enter a nanny share where the other family is hosting. They would like us to sign the following agreement:
    Gentleman agreement: Families agree that the house, nursery, play equipment and environment are safe for the children. Families agree to not sue any of the other family as none of the families will be responsible for any injury to the children. This can include such things as: fire, theft, vandalism, rain, water, falling tree branches, earthquake, criminal or negligent acts of others, or any other cause. Families are advised to carry their own insurance..

    We think this is too broad and do not feel comfortable signing this. Any thoughts?

    ReplyDelete

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